Unfortunately, I've experienced things that make me wonder why many people in the world of the well have embraced such callousness and such busyness that they fail to notice a situation that deserves a bit of empathy.
Last week one of my friends took me and my daughter to a gift store, located in a plaza next to a large grocery store, to shop for greeting cards. My friend and I are very ill. We look well enough and young on the outside, and often, our IV tubing is hidden in our shirts with the IV pump tucked into a waist pouch, or bag, or purse. But inside, our lungs are failing, causing a whole host of health problems, including heart failure. We are more like decrepit elderly women than 37 year olds with young children. Without the oxygen tank I push around on a wheely cart, and the tubing running across my face, it would be hard to know that much of my lungs are scar tissue and that I could faint easily due to loss of oxygen.
We are so ill that we don't get out a lot. We actually have to plan our outings carefully because they are huge ordeals. I get short of breath and tired. My ankles swell and my body aches. I have to carry around big oxygen tanks. It's inconvenient, slow, and I try to save my energy for things I really need to do or really want to do. Needless to say, our trip to the gift store was planned well ahead of time and we knew it would be the only thing we could manage that day. It was a huge deal for us and a special outing together.
While shopping, my daughter had to use the restroom. We went up to the counter to ask if we could use their restroom and I was told no. I understand that some places have no public restrooms but I assumed they'd make an exception. I was holding onto my daughter's hand with one hand, and in the other, I was dragging a large oxygen tank on a cart and a small stack of greeting cards so carefully laced in my fingers. I wasn't prepared to argue or to beg. I was shocked and feeling rejected, we made the long walk out and into the grocery and all the way to the other side of the store, in order to use their restroom. I had to push myself to make it there... feeling light-headed and out of breath. Then we journeyed back and in total exhaustion, I sat down in the middle of the store.
It's what I get for being a passive person. I left there upset. I was upset at myself for not trying to explain things. I was upset I had to walk all the way across the grocery store to use the restroom. I was upset that they told someone, so ill, no.
I have since learned there is a law in several states, including Ohio, that requires a business to let people with certain disabilities use their restroom, even if it's not open to the public. This will be good for next time. However, it does not fix the fact that it happened and does not rectify the lack of empathy I witnessed.
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