A New Hope

Five weeks ago, I received the call. Cleveland Clinic had lungs for me. A match... finally!

Five weeks ago I was wheeled into the surgical room. Lines were placed and anesthesia was administered. An incision was made down my chest and my sternum cut open to reveal my heart and lungs. I was kept alive on a bypass machine while my heart was stopped and my diseased lungs removed. My new lungs--a precious gift--took their place and I was patched back together, sternum wired shut, and drain tubes placed.

After the surgery my heart protested. It had worked hard keeping me alive, overcompensating for the lost lung function. I spent a week in ICU--over 168 hours--heavily sedated and spending most of it in a lost world of hallucinations with glimpses of the real world around me. (That's the equivalent of watching approximately 70 average feature-length movies.) During that time I was extubated, had problems, and re-intubated. The second time I was extubated I was able to experience breathing with my new lungs for the first time. Shortly after, my doctor removed the cannula from my nose. "You don't need this," he said.

Two weeks ago I had a bronchoscopy and the biopsies revealed no rejection. My donor's lungs are making oxygen for my body and doing a good job. My lower legs have returned to their normal color--they are no longer splotchy purple. I don't feel like I'm suffocating. I was out of control of everything for so long that I feel a little lost... like I am coming back from some other dimension, trying my best to figure out the world I missed.

I now sit, five weeks later, at my computer. At my desk. In my home. Breathing. No oxygen. No IV line in my chest. Despite all the pills and the side effects, it's worth it. The pain is relatively tolerable. I know many friends wish to hear more details. And, those should come with time. But for now...

I have a new hope.