Old lady alternate identity...

I aspired to live as long as my great-grandpa did and figured I could be as healthy as he was, too. Unfortunately it looks like that healthy gene skipped me. Either that, or my body rebelled against our toxic environment. Maybe both.

Anyway, this disease creates a lot of needs. I need items I never imagined buying... at least not within the next forty years. Some of these things include a pulse oximeter, an automatic blood pressure cuff, and a shower stool. I had to purchase larger, stretchier socks to accommodate swollen feet, and replace several other items I already own but no longer work for this body.

I cannot even begin to explain how much it bothered me to buy a shower stool. I knew I needed something. I couldn't risk fainting in the shower and busting my head on the tile. But I felt a shower stool is such an old lady thing. And who wants to spend their money on a shower stool rather than on a book or plant, or something more fun?

I explained this to my PH friend and she told me I needed an old lady alternate identity. She has an old lady alternate identity and it helps her acknowledge that these are likely her old lady years and she "may's well have them." She explained that our old lady alternate identities need these things. And, they have free passes to make requests, wear what they wish, speak freely, ignore people who drive them crazy, and take naps whenever and wherever they please.

As silly as it sounds, having an old lady alternate identity helps. These are my old lady years. "May's well have them." Today I'm wearing gray, brown, and two different shades of blue. No coordination but my old lady alternate identity doesn't care. Now please excuse me. I need a nap...