Another Last Hurrah

I went to the Ohio State Fair on Sunday. My daughter and her Girl Scout troop won awards for the projects they submitted and I was determined I was going to watch the ceremony. I made it, but I think it is indeed the last state fair, or any fair, I will manage to get to before my transplant.

This is the back of my car and the oxygen it took to spend a day away from home. And, I was only able to do it with the help of my husband, who went back and forth to the car several times to switch out the empty tanks. With the oxygen, my IV pump, a wheelchair (for long distances), and a medic bag, I feel like a traveling hospital. I'm getting weaker and I can accept my limitations or I can kill myself trying to do too much. (I believe that even a healthy person would have a difficult time dealing with everything I have to deal with, especially doing so being tethered to an oxygen tank and an IV pump.)

I tried to take it easy and stayed in the air conditioned youth center. I looked at projects until I had a migraine-like headache and was tired. It was getting difficult for me to keep my oxygen saturation above 90%. Then I sat and waited. Even though I was feeling ill we needed to stay until 6 p.m. in order for them to release the projects to the Girl Scouts. A little after 5 p.m., I explained my condition and asked if they'd make an exception for me so I could head home, but they refused. They told me it is the fair's policy to not release projects before 6 p.m. and claimed if they get caught making an exception for me, they could lose their privilege to be involved with the fair. I understand. Policies and rules are there to be followed and, if they make an exception for one person, everyone will want an exception from some reason or another. Once again, I was faced with the callousness and oblivious nature of those in the Well World.

I'm starting to realize this is why I don't see many people in my condition, or a similar condition, out doing things. We are weak and needy and we need exceptions. We need help and we hesitate to ask again and again. Very few want to make exceptions for us and we know this. So, it's easier to stay home; miss out; and spare us, and our family, the stress and effort it takes to plan, and execute such a plan, for a day outing.

I've had a year full of last hurrahs. It's not giving up. It's being sensible. But, missing out is a very sad thing.